Back To Reality

by Frost on October 5, 2012

Remember when I quit my job and vowed never to return, because the modern workplace is a soul-sucking black hole of hope? Because my destiny is to be a globetrotting author/entrepreneur? Yeah, me too.

And yet, here I am, trying to decide on an optimal chair backrest position and wondering if I should get a plant to liven up my office. Cue the violins.

There are a few attitudes I could have about my current situation.

The easiest would be anger: Fuck all this lifestyle design bullshit! Fuck Tim Ferriss, Sean Ogle, Tropical MBA and all the rest! Selling pipe dreams, those cunts are, to gullible young knuckleheads like me who lack the maturity and wisdom to understand that, truly, the only way to make money online is to teach other people how to make money online.

The great thing about this response is that it absolves me of responsibility. I’m just a good kid who got caught up in a fantasy created by those who profit from it! There’s certainly a large and growing community of lifestyle design haters who would welcome me with open arms.

But here’s the cold hard truth: The dream is possible. Southeast Asia is full of people who are living it. You want to know the main reason I’m not? Simply, I didn’t work very hard at it. There is definitely a lot of bullshit, hype and posing in the lifestyle design community. But, there is also a core of smart, hard-working guys making it work. I’ve personally met no fewer than twenty of them.

The reason I’m not frolicking in cash on a tropical beach is that I didn’t put in the time. I spent my hours in Asia training muay thai, partying, and writing my second book. If I had committed a solid six hours a day to building Adsense sites, information products, affiliates, and whatnot, I think there’s a very good chance that I wouldn’t be here right now.

Another alternative would be to feel regret, for not working harder to reach passive income Nirvana during my year off. But I wonder what experiences I would have had to sacrifice to make time for that? Roads not taken and all that.

One thing is for sure though – I’m not yet resigned to life as a wage earner. There are fortunes to be made in niche sites, info products, blogs, and all that good stuff. I’m getting mine, even if not right this minute.

So how does it feel to be back?

It’s a question I get all the time. The honest answer is, it feels pretty good. My year of traveling has been incredible, but there are drawbacks to the transient lifestyle as well. Maybe I’m just a natural rationalizing optimist, but I was happy to be traveling while I was traveling, and I’m happy to be home now that I’m home.

In any event, I am where I am, which is basically the same position I was in exactly two years ago. I can’t deny that the twenty-five year old who wrote this post, or the twenty-six year old who wrote this one, would be disappointed to see me back in an office today. But twenty-seven year old Frost feels OK about it. My expectations were too high, for the effort that I was willing to put in.

So what now? Well, first order of business is to grope awkwardly for a new title, pseudonym and layout that matches the direction I want to take this blog in, despite not being entirely sure what that is, before settling back to the tried-and-true. Check.

Second is the basic stuff. Getting my Swole on. Kicking ass at my job. Re-building the harem. Putting together a slick new wardrobe. Settling into a Productive Routine.

Third – and last, for this post at least – is settling some unfinished business with an old friend, one evening in the coffee shop at a time.

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Frost Reader October 17, 2012 at 9:43 pm
Frost October 18, 2012 at 8:16 am

Yeah, I believe I linked to that post in Back To Reality.

Its a great post with a lot of truth to it, but I think he’s selling both himself and the market short. There are a lot of guys making money off of pickup advice, and Krauser should be one of them. I just got around to reading Daygame nitro and it’s at least as good as Day Bang, which I don’t say lightly. Krauser claims to be happy with his job, but I dunno. His place is teaching men how to meet women, and how to be men. I plan on harassing him about this soon…

Invictus III October 10, 2012 at 8:19 am

Glad to hear you had a great time and learned a few things while doing it. I know for sure that you’ll be back on the road eventually. Everyone who has traveled like you have gets the “itch” and the only cure is to venture off across the world again. I like you am biding my time at my 9 to 5 and plotting my next escape.

Senior Beta October 7, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Hey, don’t feel bad. Can’t all be Rooshes. Had some great adventures and stories. And more to come.

Simon October 7, 2012 at 8:31 pm

As always, the question is: to what end, mate?

And, is the old friend Trig?

Lee Scuppers October 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Sounds like the trip was its own reward and its own justification. Time well spent, even if you’re back in an office at the moment. So try something else in a couple years. You have to take some risks or you’ll die bored and stupid.

Heartless October 6, 2012 at 11:14 am

Good post. Keep the blog going, no matter where life takes you. It is certainly more interesting than most manoblogs. Tastes like real life of a real person.

Tom October 6, 2012 at 6:35 am

I have enjoyed both of your books. I am curious to know if the income from those books helped you financially when you were abroad? You seem to state that things to do with Adsense would potentially make strong passive income more possible, where the books not critical? I thought they were great, Roosh got me into game and you got me in the gym.

JT October 5, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Feels like the end of an era, but the beginning of something special.

Best wishes, will be following.

Vicomte October 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

If this makes sense, I’ve never understood how people who are only successful at teaching others to be successful can teach others how to be successful at things other than teaching others to be successful. Everyone can’t make a living off of a blog that teaches people how to make a living off of a blog. There’s no substance there.

Rob October 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm

The lifestyle planning is designed for lazy, weak people. As far as I can tell, you aren’t either.

Me personally, I have my job and then I have my side project. The side project is in the preliminary stages: months of research and initial designs. I’m going to bring in a partner because I don’t want to front my own money and because the partner brings value to the project.

GentlemanSlut October 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

This was the first ‘Manosphere’ blog I started to read regularly, mainly because the bitterness seeps out of a lot of the others like a poisonous ooze. Yours, to me, looked forward at opportunities while others fixated on problems. Not censoring your comments was a big plus to me.

Whatever you put your hand to, you’ll be fine. I’d love to see the whole ‘lifestyle design’ thing properly looked at. Maybe some in-depth profiles of the people who have made it work.

I’ll continue reading regardless. Best of luck Frost.

Frost October 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Thanks man. There’s a time and a place for anger, but I agree that this community needs more yin, and I try to provide it.

As for profiles on the LD world, thanks for the idea, I think I’ll run with it.

Anthony Tate October 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

Frost October 5, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Great quote.

Dirt Man October 5, 2012 at 11:57 am

Good, honest post man. I’m not surprised you have a complex of feelings. And I am definitely not a fan of people selling snake oil and profiting from it. But, it sounds like you have a positive attitude towards it.

If you learned nothing, that would be regrettable, but it seems you’ve learned a lot, so it was truly a profitable trip.

I’m curious. Before you left, you were somewhat struggling about leaving a certain girl behind. Might she be the friend? I wish you all the best in sorting out whatever it is, and maybe if she’s still around, and you’re still good for eachother, something might progress there.

Right on Frost, er um, Elihu.

Frost October 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Regarding the lifestyle design/location independence/make money online world, there is definitely snake oil out there. But there are also a ton of guys succeeding and offering good advice, so, let the buyer/reader beware.

I’m elaborating more in another post, but I absolutely don’t regret anything. In some ways, I haven’t lived up to my expectations, but in other ways I’ve exceeded them.

As for the girl, we’re still on good terms but there’s nothing there. Radically different life goals and all that.

asdf October 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

It’s probably no different then starting a small business here. Effort + lots of luck. Most fail whether they deserve to or not.

I took a new job a year ago I was excited about too, only to find out my boss was breaking the law big time (and had to turn him in). Now I’m interviewing for my old job. I regret and don’t regret the decision at the same time. I wouldn’t have done it knowing what I know now, but a priori I wouldn’t have made a different decision.

Though it looks like I’m going back to my old job I no longer feel bad about it. I took my shot and it fizzled. I don’t have to feel like I never took it.

Frost October 5, 2012 at 4:06 pm

And it’s not like you only get one shot…

asdf October 5, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I dunno man. I’ve changed jobs/careers a lot. The last time I gave up a sweet gig I ended up in an Orwellian nightmare with a terrorizing boss I had to turn into the authorities. I closing in on 30 and I’m just tired.

If going back to being paid good money to work 30 hours a week or so and have tons of flexibility working with people I like is my fate, so be it. I’ll wear the business casual and fill out the occasional TPS report.

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