Have you got problems with women? Well fear not! I’ve got the solution. Put down those routines! Throw away those openers! I’ve got your magic formula. I want you to relax and… wait for it:
Just Be Yourself.
Truly, no seduction trope is as unhelpful and ubiquitous as Just Be Yourself. We may even need an acronym for it. “Dude, I asked my grandma for advice on how I can find a nice girl. I got JBY’ed. Right in the face.”
I recently got a chance to read Mark Manson’s Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. Mark’s core premise is: Just Be Yourself.
But you know what? It’s an incredible book. I highly recommend it. It is much, much deeper than the facile JBY one gets from the clueless, and it’s the best piece I’ve read on having healthy relationships (“And you’re an expert on this HOW?” I hear any woman I’ve dated for more than a month asking. But never mind that…) with women, as well as with friends and family.
Mark’s core message is that you should (mostly) forget about lines and routines, embrace who you are, and radiate that You-ness openly and honestly with the women you meet. Here are two quotes that capture the essence of the book’s message:
“Our primary strategy with women is polarization. The basic idea is that
the more forthright you are about who you are, how you feel, and what
you think, the more this is going to weed out Unreceptive Women from
the Receptive women, as well as push Neutral women to get off the
fence and decide how they feel about you.”
” …a man who becomes comfortable with his vulnerability
becomes the opposite of needy. If neediness is prioritizing others’
perceptions about you over your own, then vulnerability is the exact
opposite. Being vulnerable forces you to accept and prioritize your own
perception of yourself over those of others.
Why? Because you have no choice. As you make yourself vulnerable,
you will experience both success and rejection. And as you experience
success or rejection, you will be forced to upgrade your own sense of
self worth. There’s no other option. Slowly, but surely you’ll chisel a
“Don’t Give a Fuck” attitude out of yourself that is genuine yet giving
at the same time. A benevolent selfishness.
But this can only be done by consistently exposing yourself and
opening up your emotions and true thoughts first to yourself and then to
those around you.”
A Caveat: Just Be Yourself Game may not be helpful to someone who is currently a complete mess. It’s hard to JBY a 4-set of HB8.7s if “Yourself” is a socially anxious loser with three years of cumulative World of Warcraft game time. Being Yourself requires Yourself being worth being. (There’s a sentence for ya!) Mark, to his credit, acknowledges this. Still, the two demographics I think stand to benefit the most from Models are:
1) Successful PUA-types who’ve developed Social Robot Syndrome, and want to progress to a more genuine, natural feel to their interactions with women.
2) Guys who do well with women, but have fucked up relationships because they’re dishonest with women (and themselves) about who they are and what they want.
But I recommend it to neckbeards as well. Read it, and understand that Models is a window to what you should be shooting for as the end goal: Genuine, honest relationships. Self-awareness. Happiness.
So that’s Models by Mark Manson. Kid-tested. Mom approved. Freedom Twenty-Five recommended.