Review Of Models, By Mark Manson

by Frost on July 3, 2012

Have you got problems with women? Well fear not! I’ve got the solution. Put down those routines! Throw away those openers! I’ve got your magic formula. I want you to relax and… wait for it:

Just Be Yourself.

Truly, no seduction trope is as unhelpful and ubiquitous as Just Be Yourself. We may even need an acronym for it. “Dude, I asked my grandma for advice on how I can find a nice girl. I got JBY’ed. Right in the face.”

I recently got a chance to read Mark Manson’s Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. Mark’s core premise is: Just Be Yourself.

But you know what? It’s an incredible book. I highly recommend it. It is much, much deeper than the facile JBY one gets from the clueless, and it’s the best piece I’ve read on having healthy relationships (“And you’re an expert on this HOW?” I hear any woman I’ve dated for more than a month asking. But never mind that…) with women, as well as with friends and family.

Mark’s core message is that you should (mostly) forget about lines and routines, embrace who you are, and radiate that You-ness openly and honestly with the women you meet. Here are two quotes that capture the essence of the book’s message:

“Our primary strategy with women is polarization. The basic idea is that

the more forthright you are about who you are, how you feel, and what

you think, the more this is going to weed out Unreceptive Women from

the Receptive women, as well as push Neutral women to get off the

fence and decide how they feel about you.”

” …a man who becomes comfortable with his vulnerability

becomes the opposite of needy. If neediness is prioritizing others’

perceptions about you over your own, then vulnerability is the exact

opposite. Being vulnerable forces you to accept and prioritize your own

perception of yourself over those of others.

 

Why? Because you have no choice. As you make yourself vulnerable,

you will experience both success and rejection. And as you experience

success or rejection, you will be forced to upgrade your own sense of

self worth. There’s no other option. Slowly, but surely you’ll chisel a

“Don’t Give a Fuck” attitude out of yourself that is genuine yet giving

at the same time. A benevolent selfishness.

 

But this can only be done by consistently exposing yourself and

opening up your emotions and true thoughts first to yourself and then to

those around you.”

A Caveat: Just Be Yourself Game may not be helpful to someone who is currently a complete mess. It’s hard to JBY a 4-set of HB8.7s if “Yourself” is a socially anxious loser with three years of cumulative World of Warcraft game time. Being Yourself requires Yourself being worth being. (There’s a sentence for ya!) Mark, to his credit, acknowledges this. Still, the two demographics I think stand to benefit the most from Models are:

1) Successful PUA-types who’ve developed Social Robot Syndrome, and want to progress to a more genuine, natural feel to their interactions with women.

2) Guys who do well with women, but have fucked up relationships because they’re dishonest with women (and themselves) about who they are and what they want.

But I recommend it to neckbeards as well. Read it, and understand that Models is a window to what you should be shooting for as the end goal: Genuine, honest relationships. Self-awareness. Happiness.

So that’s Models by Mark Manson. Kid-tested. Mom approved. Freedom Twenty-Five recommended.

Buy it here

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Arakawa July 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm

… damn, that’ll learn me to stop drafting comments from iPhones. As I was going to say…

It’s very simple. There’s a modern neurosis where people are constantly concerned with the appearance of the thing and not the substance. Curing yourself of it is an uphill struggle – I would know.

In the example of working out, there is a proliferation of workout guides which aim for the appearance of strength and coordination (huge, bulging muscles) without addressing the issue of actual strength and coordination. The guy who wrote ‘Convict Conditioning’ tears into this genre of literature particularly viciously, but in the grand scheme of things the big-muscle guys are quite admirable. Even they are leagues above the countless people who aim for the appearance of working out (long hours put in doing *whatever* exercise-ey) without checking to see if they’re getting any benefit whatsoever from the investment.

In the example of learning foreign languages, there is a proliferation of people who take absolutely worthless language lessons or the even more laughable Rosetta Stones or consume other pointless nostrums, and don’t worry about maximizing their exposure to, you know, the actual information inherent in the language, via either actual native speakers of the language, or media intended for the native speakers.

And in the example of scoring women, there is no one quite as dangerous (to himself) as a guy who goes into the field without a clear idea of who he is, what he wants, and how he’s going to get it. You want to get laid as much as possible with a minimum of ideology? Great! The Chateau has you covered — just be sure to check any pleasant delusions about the fairer sex at the door. Do you want to pursue more meaningful relations with women, for some specific definition of meaningful that makes sense for you? Well, then, you’ve got your work cut out for you, as you’ll have to mix honesty and manipulation, infatuation and detachment in precisely the right proportion to get her to abandon the default societal ‘frame’ of the relationship (which will inevitably be screwed up no matter how much everyone is ‘themselves’)… and get her to agree to a frame that you find reasonable, perhaps without realizing that she’s done so. This is not something that’s covered in a book such as ‘Day Bang’, because it’s *hard* and moreover it conflicts mightily with the actual short term goal of getting laid — where to some extent the default societal ‘frame’ can be made to work to your benefit.

At the centre of the relationship is the question — what is the substantive basis? Who gives what and who gets what, short term and long term? X-raying the modern off-the-shelf relationship — whether that be marriage, boyfriend-girlfriend limbo, friends with benefits or whatever — with this question has a tendency to give one the creeping horrors, because people are mostly chasing the appearance of relations that made sense in the context of days long, long ago, but now…

Arakawa Seijio July 5, 2012 at 8:01 pm

It’s very simple. There’s a modern neurosis where people are constantly concerned with the appearance of the thing and not the substance.

In the example of working out, people prefer … .

In the example of learning new languages, many people prefer to take worthless lessons and curriculae

Randy July 4, 2012 at 1:12 am

I really enjoyed Models and I’m glad to see it getting some credit. Great review =)

FFY July 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Awesome, dude. Glad you liked your own book

Randy July 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

I didn’t write Models but I’ve been a huge PM fan for a long time.

Bronan the Barbarian! July 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Randy, my son is missing and all you can worry about is drugs and fuckin’ cheeseburgers?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1Pad_PbkW8&w=560&h=315%5D

Randy July 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

That was fucking hilarious. Is that a T.V. show?

Kwyjibo July 3, 2012 at 8:39 am

Ive enjoyed reading Postmasculine for a while now, and it’s interesting to see him getting increasing love from the manosphere.

Mark was the guy who put the nail in the coffin of the whole ‘alpha/beta’ bullshit distinction that appeals to nerds on the Internet, I’d assumed the manosphere would hate him.

Top guy.

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