I’m an oft-misunderstood man.
People think that because I’m writing a series of posts titled Don’t Get Married, that I am anti-marriage. Presumptuous, aren’t they?
The truth is, I am stridently and enthusiastically pro-marriage. From a personal perspective, I know that my ideal life will eventually include a healthy, happy, stable family. At the young, virile age of twenty-six, I’m convinced that no single woman will ever satiate my desire for sexual variety and volume, but who knows how bright the fire in my belly will still burn in a decade or two? By the time I’m writing the Freedom Forty-Five chapter of my life, perhaps the dreaded disease of one-gina won’t seem so bad. You might make an honest man out of me yet, future wife. For now though, I hope you’re enjoying Middle School. (How’s that for creepy?)
More importantly, I believe that the institution of lifelong monogamy – historically called marriage, but we’ll avoid that word for now, at least until we define it – is one of the fundamental pillars supporting a healthy society. Of all the unfortunate circumstances to befall western civilization in the past century, the breakdown of ubiquitous lifelong monogamy been among the most tragic. Of course, like so many other sad examples of our decay and descent, the best and brightest laud this tragedy as something to be celebrated. You could actually put together a not-terrible moral compass simply by observing the au courant values of fashionable Americans today, and reversing them. But I digress.
Back to marriage. Apparently, I am both for and against it. I feel an explanation is required.
When I’m trying to understand something, I like to take a step back and ask myself what it actually is, in reality, rather than what it appears to be, what it calls itself, or what other people seem to think it is. Let’s look at marriage, as we practice it in the 21st century, under this magical lens of reality and plain English:
1) Marriage is a legal contract in which a man and a woman pool their assets and exchange a few rights to act on each other’s behalf.
2) The social norms surrounding marriage generally require a big party with a fancy dress and cake, a honeymoon, cohabitation, and usually, children.
3) Except for in a few small and rapidly shrinking backwaters of traditionalism, marriage is not considered to be a binding commitment for a woman. Depending on the specific social class one uses for a frame of reference, attitudes towards divorce range from mild disapproval, and the requirement that some pretext be made for the divorce (such as pornography or ’emotional abuse’), to outright encouragement (“You go grrrrl! Look atcha all empowered and sheeeit!”)
4) In most social circles, a woman who chooses to get divorced will receive the full support of her friends, family, community, and even church. This is the natural outcome of a mainstream culture and media that celebrates divorcees and pressures women to pontificate on the great injustice of not being deliriously happy every second of every day.
5) A man who divorces his wife, almost regardless of his reasons, is considered the lowest of the low.
6) The jurisprudence of divorce is heavily slanted in favour of women, the result being that women typically emerge from divorces in a much better financial position than their husbands.
7) Custody of any children from the marriage will be given to the wife in virtually all cases.
8 ) Financial responsibility for the children (and ex-wife) will generally fall to the ex-husband, who will have to pay a large percentage of his income in alimony and child support. If he ever loses his job or gets a pay cut (a lot of that going around today, I hear) his financial obligations will remain the same, and he may wind up in jail for his inability to pay.
9) As a result of the huge legal and social incentives for women to break off marriages, the ostensibly fairer sex initiates the vast majority of divorces.
10) Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce.
This, gentle reader, is the harsh reality of the thing we romantically call ‘marriage’ today. It is a mere contract, and one whose terms have been perverted by the Gramscian march of organized feminism into the family law systems of the western world. If you revere marriage out of tradition, habit, or faith, you are worshipping a goat. There is nothing romantic, traditional, or holy about modern matrimony. It is an abomination.
Traditionalists, SoCons, Christians, and other adult-diaper-wearing supposed pro-marriage advocates, do not realize this. Not because it isn’t obvious, but because confronting the awful reality would force them to grapple with how deep the rot truly goes in our society. To listen to the mainstream Conservative, everything in America is just hunky-dory, and all will be well once we tidy up a few loose ends. The full extent of our degeneracy is just too terrifying for most to honestly consider, while retaining their sanity. It’s one thing to bemoan the decline in marriage rates, quite another to admit that there is simply no such thing as marriage anymore.
Thus, young men such as myself can do nothing but shake our heads at the refrain emanating from the William Bennetts of the world. ‘Man up!‘ they say. ‘Stop banging sluts, stop playing video games, stop traveling, and get married already!’
But the truth is, most of us would get married, if only we could. If it were possible to find a good woman, committed to fulfilling a traditional role as a wife, mother and homemaker, and dedicated to honour, love and obey, through sickness and in health, until death do us part – the vast majority of western men would jump at the chance.
But we don’t have that chance. It has been taken from us, by the generations preceding us who let so much of what was great and beautiful about our world slip away by yielding spinelessly to the demands of organized leftism. Now, after that, they see fit to lecture us on our duties. Well conservative old farts, on behalf of my generation – screw off.
Marriage no longer exists. All you can offer us is sham-marriage. And as I hope I’ve made brutally clear in this post, the institution of sham-marriage today is not in the best interests of modern men. The 60’s protest generation and their docile enablers, the aptly-named Silent Majority, have destroyed traditional marriage, among a great many other fine things. The future is not without hope – as we’ll see in a later essay – but the men behind any potential renaissance will come from my generation, not yours.