Naughty Nomad writes a post titled Five Mistakes To Avoid When Learning Game that resonates a lot with me.
“I used to go out dressed like a twat, and hoped somehow it would get me laid. At one stage, I used to have dreadlocks and handlebar moustaste, then go out with zebra skinned platform shoes with fish in the heel, a ruffled shirt, and a massive purple pimp hat with a matching zebra band and a large feather it in. Did I get attention from women? Yes – TONS, but it wasn’t always the right type of attention. Did I get laid? Hardly ever.
Peacocking works, but you need to look cool – not retarded.”
While I never went as all-out as NN, I did go through an experimental phase of wearing the odd chain, amulet, bracelet, and other miscellany that just didn’t mesh with my look. Eventually, I figured out the clothes that matched my looks and personality were much simpler and less flashy – I get my best results with a mix of preppy jeans and button-downs, and decent results with a grunge-y style bum/jock look that I can only describe as ‘Canadian hockey player.’ Mileage for non-canucks may vary.
“I use to neg all the time: dishing out subtle insults/backhanded compliments for the purposes of lowering a girl’s self esteem, hoping she will seek validation from. It worked sometimes, but the majority of time I came across as a complete dick. While teasing has it’s place, it’s not always a winner. Sometime I just hurt people’s feelings. I over-negged. I tried an experiment and stopped negging altogether. The result – my success with women skyrocketed.”
As I wrote in Game Is Different For Good-Looking Men, a huge chunk of PUA literature is not applicable to good-looking dudes. Based on this post, I would lay money that the Nomad is a handsome fella (no homo), which means that the job a neg is supposed to do – bring a girl’s perceived value of you and her together – has already been done. Negging a girl who’s already attracted to you will scare her off, or at the least make her feel uncomfortable.
The term “good-looking” is a simplification as well. If you’re a decent-looking guy who rolls into the bar with a solid crew, works the room, and is dressed better than most, you are good-looking in her eyes. Game accordingly.
“…My biggest flaw was boasting (it probably still is). I can’t help it. When I tell someone them about my life, it just comes across like I’m a pretentious, conceited prick. The problem is I’m too awesome. Even when I’m being modest, I’m still too awesome. Guys consider me competition, girls think I probably jack off to my reflection. I’ve had to learn to shut the fuck up about myself.”
I too suffer from the mighty disadvantage of being awesome. I write that tongue-in-cheek, but I actually do have a lot going for me in my life right now. The fact that I’m quitting a good job, moving to Thailand, and starting a new life as an author/entrepreneur, is a very attractive back story. Very recently, I used to make the mistake of itching for an opportunity to spit all of that out, the first chance I could get.
The way to avoid coming across as boastful is to structure your conversations so that she is begging you to brag about yourself. Make her ask for every detail of your life. Using myself as an example, instead of going full-on A&E biography monologue on a girl right after she asks me what I do, I give her small amounts of information to bait her into asking for more.
“So what do you do?”
“So what did you do BEFORE you were retired?”
“I did X job, for Y company.”
At this point, a girl will ask me one of a number of questions. Why did you retire? How is your retirement going? (the clever ones.) What do you mean, you’re RETIRED? (The boring ones.) But most girls will ask:
“So what are you doing now?”
“Why, talking to you of course!”
“No, I mean, what are you doing for work.”
“I told you, I’m retired!”
And so on. After ~5 minutes of teasing, joking and dancing around the subject, I’ll have finally revealed my plans for the next year. Much more fun than telling her straight-out, and comes across as much more humble. Credit to Roosh’s Day Bang for this insight.