Maybe I’m just getting older.
I used to spend 3-5 nights a week going out to bars and parties. Get wasted, laugh with friends, hit on girls. Hopefully wake up next to a decent-looking one. Rinse and repeat. That was my undergraduate lifestyle, and it was a ripping good time.
But now I’m twenty-six. I work for a living. I don’t want to spend a quarter of my waking hours black-out drunk. I’m getting tired of the empty, character-less whores bouncing around like glittery ADHD pinballs at dive bars. (That’s not to say I’m about to stop chasing and fucking them – just that I’m getting tired of it.) I still go out with my friends, pay too much for drinks, pretend to enjoy some of the most idiotic and vapid music that human beings have ever produced (singin’ AYYYYOOO!), and put on the fun, high-energy, care-free vibe that draws women into my world in a club setting. But picking up girls at night is starting to require a healthy effort to swallow my disdain for the people and culture that I find myself immersed in.
So maybe I’m just getting older. Or maybe the club scene has gotten even more vapid and retard-infested than it was in 2003-2009. Whatever the case, I have no interest in making that culture a big part of my life. I’d rather spend a Friday night writing in a coffee shop than waiting in line and paying too much for the privilege of talking to drunk, heavily made-up girls with inflated senses of self-worth.
The obvious solution is to start hitting on girls outside of clubs. Or at least, it should have been obvious. For some reason it took me until I had finished my undergrad before I realized that it’s OK to go out and meet girls during the day, without the benefit of alcohol, loud music, darkness and relative anonymity. The world is full of hot girls. They’re in stores, coffee shops, subways, streets, libraries. Why not try to pick them up?
It took me an embarrassingly long time to make that simple connection, and start approaching girls in my day to day life. Once I did, a new world opened up for me. The coffee shop where I studied, the Skytrain on my way to class, random spots on campus – all were packed with hot, friendly, approachable girls. Many of them rarely went “out” and thus hardly ever got hit on. Day game isn’t just cheaper, faster and easier than night game – it opens your world to a set of girls you would never have had access to otherwise. Better yet, it’s a higher class of girls than the club rats that you’ll tend to meet at night. I was immediately, if only occasionally successful, the minute I started doing day approaches.
Looking back though, I now realize that I used to be pretty terrible at day game. I held onto much of what had become my night game persona – cocky, direct, aloof – and it was scaring girls away. Ironically, I had my greatest daytime successes when I was hung over as shit, and thus forced to be a much simpler, slower, lower-energy version of myself than I would be normally. Day game is a very different beast than night game, and it paradoxically requires seasoned veterans of the club scene to un-learn much of what experience has taught them.
Roosh, who I’m sure you’re already familiar with, has just released Day Bang: How To Casually Pick Up Girls During The Day. It’s a comprehensive guide to meeting women during the day at pretty much any venue you can imagine, and I highly recommend it to any man who has the confidence and courage to approach women during the day. Roosh has spent a long time refining his day game system, and his book is the result of hundreds if not thousands of hours of trials, experimentation and polishing. Day Bang is a subtle, complex book.
At a first glance though, it doesn’t seem subtle at all. It actually feels suspiciously easy. There are no complex routines. There is no elaborate hierarchy of the stages of attraction. There is very little to memorize. The book itself is full of examples of successful daytime approaches, but they are presented as exactly that – examples, rather than gospel to commit to memory and regurgitate. Instead, Day Bang suggests men take a more natural, relaxed, and less eager-to-impress attitude towards day game. Roosh suggests that the optimal Day Game mindset is as follows:
“Hello, I just want to have an innocent little chat, and through that chat, cool and interesting things about me will leak out. At the end of the chat I’m going to give you a chance to continue the interaction at another time. If you don’t take advantage of that, it’s your loss. There are a lot of other girls out there I’ve yet to talk to.“
The entire book is about presenting yourself as a safe, sane, interesting, attractive person, in the most effective way possible. This is something most men already feel they know how to do. But check your ego and recognize that you might still have a thing or two to learn. I consider myself at the top of the class, social-savvy-wise, and Day Bang still had plenty to instruct me on.
I will add one caveat before you buy it however: Day Bang is not a magic potion or a book of spells that will enable you to bed any woman you want, solely with the tools Roosh gives you. In fact, most of the conversational skills you will learn in the book are focused on getting a girl to ask you about your interesting life. If you can’t deliver the goods when that moment comes, you’re fucked. Two of my favourite passage from the book:
“The value that you display, your coolness and interestingness, is the primary force that leads to dates. Without that value, your close rate will be low. While it’s possible to play video games eighteen hours a day and still get laid with game, it’s exponentially easier if you have an interesting life. It’s no surprise that in the process of tightening your game you become a more interesting man. It’s a positive feedback loop where getting laid makes you cooler and becoming cooler gets you laid more.”
“Unfortunately, game isn’t a miracle drug. It doesn’t create value where there is none—it merely brings out the value that you already have. You’ll still need to offer something in exchange for vaginal entry. While you don’t need to be well-traveled or have several cool hobbies, the more interesting you are, the easier it will be for you to get numbers and dates. Becoming more interesting is a process. It starts with reading books or exposing yourself to interesting people in order to gather knowledge and ideas for activities to try. You then act on what you’ve learned by exploring something new, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Those new actions can then provide excellent fodder for good conversation.“
Unlike so many self-styled seduction gurus, Roosh is honest about the limitations of tight game, both in the sense of getting girls in bed, and in creating a complete and fulfilling life. Day Bang is a complete guide to daytime approaches and number closes. If you’re clueless and struggling, this book has the potential to change your life. If you’re already doing well for yourself, it’s a collection of tactics and theory that you’ll definitely get your money’s worth out of.
I highly recommend you buy a copy if you’re interested in adding day game to their repertoire. Also, if you don”t already own it, the original Bang is a good complement to Day Bang, as it covers night game and getting from date #1 to sex.