When I started practicing Game, I failed miserably. Women who had been giving me eyes were turned off mere seconds after I had opened my mouth. I spent far too many nights on the last subway, alone, thinking: What the fuck? I used to be good at this.
My problem was that I was following advice that had not been designed for me. The Seduction community was formed by men who were struggling with women. It’s teachings were not designed for tall, good-looking men who already had decent social skills and the confidence to escalate. Game, in it’s early incarnations, was invented and refined by men whose physical and social shortcomings necessitated a scientific approach to seduction. That’s why most seduction literature focuses on sneaky, under-the-radar approaches that are designed to lull women into thinking you aren’t hitting on them.
This kind of approach is necessary if a woman hasn’t found you attractive before you speak to her. If a physically unattractive man starts blatantly hitting on a woman with the first words out of his mouth, it probably won’t go well. He’s forcing her to make an immediate choice to let him hit on her, before he’s shown her any reason why she should do so.
But put yourself in the shoes of the same woman being approached by a different man. A tall, handsome, well-dressed guy who came into the bar with a group of similarly attractive and cool-looking friends. She noticed him when he came in. She’s been glancing at him all night. Finally, he returns the look. Holds it. Comes over to talk to her.
In this situation, it would be completely incongruent for the man to open with some bullshit about his friend’s jealous girlfriend and whether she brushes or flosses first. It would come across as weird, and rightly so. It is weird. The girl will be disappointed and will start to look for an escape from the interaction. I know this is true, because I spent a month putting girls in that situation before I figured out why I kept fucking up. Ironically, I was much more successful once I reverted to acting like my idiot twenty-one year old self, stating my intent to take girls home minutes after introducing myself.
What I had figured out was this: If you’re good-looking and carry yourself well, you’re playing a different game than everyone else. In the terms of The Mystery Method, you have accomplished most or all of the Attraction stages before you’ve even opened your mouth. As long as you don’t fuck up that attraction by coming across as try-hard, you can skip right ahead to building comfort and escalating. Good-looking men can still get a lot of value out of standard game theory, but they also need to refine their own style in most situations.
Hat tip: Real Assanova’s recent post, Approach Women Like A Boss.