Five Seduction Tropes You Should Roll Your Eyes At

by Frost on September 12, 2011

Roissy has taken the liberty of skull-fucking the common PUA trope of leaving a woman better than you found her.

The reality, as an aged Monica Lewinsky recently illustrated, is that you’re more likely to steal a piece of a woman’s heart and soul than you are to enrich her with your god-like presence. Reductio ad absurdum: If a fling with an alpha male leaves a woman better, the ideal woman would be one that had been passed around like a bottle of whiskey for her every waking minute since coming of age.

The reality is that such a fling will, at least, rob her of a few months or years of precious youth. It will also leave her (depending on the depth of her love and the heights to which your neglectful mistreatment of her rose) slightly more bitter, less trusting, and less able to fully give herself to the more commitment-oriented man that she winds up with. Her odds of future infidelity and divorce increase, as does her risk of infertility as her odds of contracting a silent but cervix-rusting STD increase.

It would be nice to imagine that the women we’ve hurt and stolen years from are better off because in their time with us, I taught them to truly enjoy life’s sensual pleasures. I doubt it’s true though. Young men of the world, you have much to learn from the seduction community, but keep in mind that much of it is soaked in the bong water of lovey-dovey, one-world, let’s all get together and love someone, hippie-dippie bullshit. It usually won’t affect the quality of their techniques, but here at Freedom Twenty-Five, we believe in truth for the sake of itself.

In that spirit, I present:

Four Seduction Tropes You Should Roll Your Eyes At 

1. Leaving a Girl Better Than You Found Her

There are times when this is possible. If one or both of you is traveling, and the relationship comes to a natural end as a consequence of the passing sands of time, it’s likely that the episode will go down in the history of her life as a mostly happy, briefly bittersweet lesson in love and loss. Other than those rare circumstances though, you’re out there doing damage.

2. The Madonna-whore complex

Here’s a fun game you can play right in your own home. Log onto a seduction forum (might as well pick the grand-daddy) and write a post about how you like a girl and want to start a relationship with her, but are hesitant because she’s slept with half your hockey team. Seems logical, right?

Not so to the flower-power PUA, who will immediately denounce you for displaying a “Madonna-Whore Complex,” known in saner circles as the ability to judge women for their sexual histories. Apparently you’re a better man if you can bend your mind to the point of not caring if the future mother of your children spent ten years of her life as a cumshot dartboard for a frat house. I have nothing against slutty girls as people, and I’m obviously a big fan of them when I’m on the prowl. But the biological reality of human nature is that men prefer not to commit to slutty girls.

3. Self-Limiting Beliefs

I already riffed on this topic here. The patchouli-oiled pick-up artist would like to pretend that anything is possible, if only you set your mind to it. That’s actually closer to the truth than the negative defeatism that plagues most men outside the seduction community, but still –  if you’re short, fat, poor, stutter, or deviate in any other way from women’s ideal male form, you are going to have to work that much harder to succeed. This doesn’t mean that short, ugly men will never get laid. But pretending that they’re not starting a few steps behind the starting block is disingenuous.

4. Outcome independence

Outcome independence is a mindset in which a man doesn’t care about the results of a specific approach. It’s a worthy goal, I suppose. We  should aspire to look at pick-up as a gentlemen looks at a game of golf: Don’t worry about your score, just enjoy the process of improving.

But is this a realistic goal? Should I aspire to not feel good about a night that ended in an orgy with the Belorussian women’s Olympic synchronized swimming team? The philosophy of outcome independence decrees that I should feel just as satisfied after a night of educational failure. Even if such a mental state is possible to achieve, I’ll stick with my human, fallible tendency to find joy in my victories and (temporary) frustration in my failures.

***

Men have much to learn from the seduction community. But it’s important to remember how it came about – a collection of clueless men, joining together to do their honest best to understand the fairer sex. The movement is young, its leaders are not gods, and as such, its core tenets are fallible. In particular, the seduction community needs to purge itself of this kind of peace-and-love idealism, and come back down to reality.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Al Female September 18, 2011 at 2:24 pm

To the outcome independence thing, I always read that as just an inner game tactic. If you aren’t anxious about your results you’re less likely to fuck up.

In other words, if you’re thinking about how much you want to nail a chick, that’s going to leak out and work against you. But if you can distract yourself from thinking about the goal somewhat, you’ll come off as more relaxed.

Agreed though that there’s no point in detaching completely. What’s the point of bagging niners if you can’t enjoy it?

Pechorin September 13, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Agreed. The sycophancy towards sluts in pickup circles is especially nauseating.

The one thing to be said for outcome independence is that sometimes agonizing over the past or worrying about the future stops guys from doing what they need to do in the present. The concept got taken in a stupid direction, though.

J.W. Black September 12, 2011 at 8:30 am

Good topic. The PUAs definitely have some ideals that aren’t realistic. Game is just another tool in the bag – an important one though…like a hammer.

Regards,
J.W. Black

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