I’ve written about how men afflicted with chronic and counterproductive niceness can overcome their smiling, ingratiating demon. See here, for example.
But most of my readers are already familiar with Game and pick-up artistry. They’ve learned that nice guys finish last, and if they haven’t started to work on becoming the sort of man that women are attracted to, they at least know they should.
Today’s post is for the men who’ve already taken that first step. It is for men who have achieved at least moderate success in meeting and dating women.
Lots of these men, especially those whose rise to suaveness began from the ashes of celibacy or heartbreak, have a tendency to develop a cynical attitude towards dating, relationships, and women in general. They claim to reject commitment, while unflinchingly committing themselves to a life of detachment and isolation. But they’re missing out on one of the greatest rewards that the ability to attract women offers: Close, intimate relationships with incredible women. Learning game and then refusing to let yourself fall in love is like getting rich, and then eating Kraft Dinner for dinner every night.
One reason for this is that ex-chumps who’ve only recently gotten their shit together only understand relationships as they’ve experienced them in the past. They think back to the mediocre, nagging girlfriends of years past, and compare them to their current lifestyle of independence and one-night stands. But that’s an apples-to-oranges comparison.
For men with no game, relationships blow. The only reason they tolerate them is that being single is even worse. What man could possibly accept being taunted and ordered around by a chubby, dim-witted, mediocre woman? Only one who knows deep down that his inability to approach and seduce new girls dictates that his only alternative is celibacy.
But for a man with the confidence and understanding of female psychology that Game provides, relationships can be awesome. A woman in love is a joy to be around. She is pleasant, giving, sweet, fun, and a source of energy and inspiration in your life. She works hard to bring happiness and value to your life, takes pride in her appearance, and looks at you with wide, admiring eyes. A happy relationship takes zero effort on your part, and allows you to spend your energy pursuing other goals, while returning to your woman to recharge, vent your daily victories and setbacks, and bask in the energizing presence of someone who genuinely believes in you, your mission, and your ability to achieve it. A weak, unskilled man will never inspire this sort of love, and so will never reap these rewards.
A man with options also has the benefit of choosing a woman to fall in love with. He can produce a long list of desirable qualities, and shop around until he finds a woman who possesses them. Men without such options are chosen, and must accept what falls in their laps.
Most importantly, a man with options can enter and leave relationships at will, since he knows he is capable of finding new women to replace any that become demanding and unpleasant. Not only does his ability to walk away inspire better behaviour from the woman he is dating, it is crucial to his happiness as well. He knows that he is in the relationship because he wants to be, not because he is terrified of the unfamiliar world outside of it.
I’ve fallen in love twice in my life, each time with women who are among the smartest, kindest, sweetest, and most beautiful that I’ve ever met. Being a single man with a bit of game in the 21st century is great, and I will always choose it over a relationship I’m not 100% invested in. But I’ve never been more satisfied in my life than when I’ve been in love, and I’m always quietly looking for the next girl who makes me consider giving up all the rest. For a while, anyways.