Girls frequently complain that men act aloof in the initial stages of courtship.
We send cryptic texts. We don’t ask you out on a proper date. We push you away and tell you to slow down after our first shared kiss. We wait a while before calling you for subsequent dates.
Why, girls often ask, do men play games?!?! Why can’t we just be upfront?
But girls should learn to tame their anger at the hard-to-read, hot-and-cold behaviour of the men they’re attracted to. As infuriating as it is, these men are giving you the opportunity to be attracted to them.
Let’s think about cats for a minute.
99% of the time, cats are bored as shit. They laze around until the sun moves and they have to change windows, or someone feeds them.
The highlight of a cat’s day, the moment that cats truly live for, is when some kind soul deigns to dangle a string in front of it. In that moment, the cat finds bliss. She pursues. She chases. As long as that string remains just out of reach, she will be the happiest cat alive, momentarily freed from the dull torment of daily life by the all-consuming burning in her soul to catch that string. In the moment she pins it between her paws, the freedom ends anti-climactically, and she returns to dull reality. But for a few minutes – until mastah got bored and decided to make dinner – she was alive.
Women are like cats.
The vast majority of men around them are uninteresting, as stationary objects are uninteresting to cats, so they spend most of their time bored. The men who present themselves usually do so in an obvious manner – they’re all string, no dangle.
Can you guess what happens when you throw a string on the ground in front of a cat, and leave it there?
Maybe the cat is momentarily intrigued by this new stimuli on her radar, but it soon loses interest when it realizes the string isn’t going anywhere. On to the next string, the cat will think. Or perhaps, disregarding Nagel, if we suppose to enter the mind of the cat: “A fine string this is – what a shame it’s not being dangled effectively, and just lays there for my taking.”
Women love men the way cats love string. The chase is a key ingredient in the seduction. A man who presents himself as immediately attainable, and never makes the girl think “Why isn’t he talking to me/kissing me/calling me?” is like a piece of inert string. He could be interesting, if only he learned how to dance.
So girls, when you find yourself popping a vein over a guy who refuses to immediately and unambiguously lay his intentions on the line, remind yourself: Without the dance, you would be as bored with him as you are with the hundreds of other invisible men around you. Be grateful that some men, by virtue of their experience and understanding of human female psychology, have the ability to thrill and entice you. It’s frustrating, but it beats laying in a sunbeam all day.