A Little Help From My…

by Frost on June 5, 2011

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

TL;DR June 15, 2011 at 2:49 am
Ezra Moon June 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

If you got hobbies it’s easy to meet people, both guys and girls. I joined a improv class and still hang out with some of the girls there. I joined an MMA club, and I’m still good friends with two guys from there.

The thing is no matter how many people I meet, I’m still the tightest with my boys from primary school, it’s just an unspoken bond.

Anyways great article man

boss June 7, 2011 at 11:42 am

I havent finished reading the article yet, but damn..what an article,…thanks a lot

Frost June 7, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Wait until you get to end!

Seriously though, it’s like 500 words. What happens when you try to read an actual book?

Laws of the Cave June 6, 2011 at 11:06 am

Awesome post Frost. I am actually in the middle of drafting a post similar to this one.

Your mention of a friend who would help you bury a body had me laughing, but those guys are awesome for sure.

Frost June 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Thanks! From an LotC perspective, humans are evolved to desperately want to be a part of a close-knit band of ~50 close friends and family, and feel lonely and isolated if we don’t have one. So contra your post (thanks for the link btw), I think close friends are absolutely necessary for good mental health.

Frost June 6, 2011 at 10:59 am

Good luck! Sometimes old friends surprise you. If not, you need to get out and pick up dudes, no homo.

Jeff June 6, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Call me weird, but I’ve always had a harder time making male friends than picking up girls. Most people already have a close circle of friends by the time they graduate college and no real desire to make new ones.

Also, the old “no homo” thing is a big reason why guys don’t just go up to other guys and say hey I like you, let’s be friends.

Would love to hear more thoughts on this in the future. My lack of a good social circle has always been an obstacle to my game.

Frost June 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Not weird at all. Making guy friends is hard. IMO the best way is to bang girls, and meet their guy friends.

Social circle game can be lucrative, but it shouldn’t be your focus. Not enough options, too high of consequences if you fuck up. Until you’re confident that your social skills are awesome, I suggest letting female friends be female friends. Meeting new girls is way easier than making new friends.

Jeff June 7, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I meant a lack of a fun social circle to go out and meet new girls with at bars, etc. Not hitting on my existing female friends :)

Interesting tip about befriending a girls’ male friends. I have a girlfriend now and I’ve always hesitated about befriending her friends because I’d likely lose them if we broke up.

Frost June 8, 2011 at 10:07 am

Ah. Social circle game usually refers to meeting and banging girls within your circle of friends. C’mon man, how do you expect to be good with women if you aren’t fully up to date on the latest lingo and acronyms? I jest.

Anyways I may write a post on this alter, but for now my best piece of advice is to treat making guy friends like picking up girls. Introduce yourself to a lot of guys, present yourself well, and screen for qualities that you want in a friend. Your gf’s peripheral guy friends are one good source, but also check out Ezra’s post below.

Cheers and good luck!

Frost

whiteboykrispy June 6, 2011 at 10:31 am

Good stuff, I needed this.

Being in a transitory stage from college to the real world, away from the crew and back in the land of high school “friends”, is tough.

I gotta find me some more reliable friends back here that actually bring something to the table.

Princeps June 6, 2011 at 12:20 am

Good shit. I was just thinking today that I needed to trade in a few of mine for better models.

On a mostly unrelated note, what are your thoughts on building confidence? I realize that is the fundamental principle of “Game.” All the game bloggers go on and on about being confident, but how does a somewhat artistic, introverted type become confident?

“Fake it” can sort of work, especially if you’ve got a couple of beers in your stomach, but one can’t be buzzed 24/7.

Frost June 6, 2011 at 10:58 am

I think the only way to get confidence is to actually improve yourself. You can “fake” confident behaviours, but really that’s just improving your social skills. I don’t really like the idea of confidence as this magical nebulous quality, but rather your body rewarding you for useful behaviours.

Cheers,

Frost

J.W. Black June 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I agree with this point. You can reinforce the thoughts of confidence with literature to some extent, but a majority is going to come from ‘doing’ things that lead to more confidence – mastery of the body and a skill or two coupled with the proper literature is really the key.

Regards,
JW BLACK

{ 3 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: