This post will make few friends among a portion of my readers. So be it.
I’m getting married. I proposed two weeks ago, and she accepted on the spot.
I’ve avoided writing about dating and relationships in the past, because the girl I love reads this blog, but it’s gotten hard to write about my life while omitting this supremely important detail: I’m in love with an incredible woman, and now I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her.
There are a lot of good arguments against the marriage path for young men like myself. Yes, most marriages end in female-initiated divorces. Yes, most divorces are extremely unfair to the men involved. And yes, marriage does seem like an odd choice for a twenty-five year old with his 20-30 best years ahead of him.
But let me make the opposing case.
Monogamous marriage has been the cornerstone of Western Civilization for millennia. Civilization is always and everywhere built on the foundation of strong family units. Monogamy’s replacement, the soft polygamy of the contemporary sexual marketplace, has proven to be an abject failure. I’ve had my fill of random hook-ups. At some point, a man needs meaning in his life. And for men (like myself) who want to start families, marriage is the only reasonable option.
The story of how my fiancee and I met is not the stuff of romantic comedies and fairy tales.
We met in high school. Circumstances were complicated by the fact that I had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend, and her boyfriend had a girlfriend, but we had fun dating for a few months. We parted ways for our undergraduate years, and launched into the college hook-up scene for the next four years. We would usually sleep with each other on school vacations and occasionally throughout our summers.
After that, I went to grad school and she went on a journey around the world to find herself, figure out who she was, and have some fun before settling into an adult life. We both moved to our current city around the same time, a year and a half ago, and started working.
We started dating almost immediately. Gradually, we realized how well we clicked, and started spending more and more time together. After a few months, we had to admit that we were exclusive – pretty obvious since we were spending 6 nights per week together.
Two weeks ago, I made her breakfast in bed, with the added touch of a pair of bubbling champagne flutes. In hers – a beautiful, sparkling engagement ring. She broke into tears, and after a brief allaying of her worries about our financial situation and whether or not it was too late to have a wedding by the end of the summer, she said “I Do.”
I don’t want to take away from the many valid concerns that the manosphere has regarding marriage in the 21st century. I have read, and sympathized with many tragic stories about men getting reamed in divorce courts and custody battles. There is a lot of work to be done, by young men today, in reversing the damage done to the traditional family by the feminist movement.
But my life is an example of how contemporary young men, who are smart enough to learn game, take control of their lives, and avoid the common mistakes of beta men, are still able to experience the joy, love, stability and family that our grandfathers had.
Freedom Twenty-Five will be addressing a new topic in the coming months: how to revive the institution of marriage in a world that is slowly recovering from the damage done to it by the 20th century.
Men, if you are in love: Don’t be afraid.