Game Is For Men Who Are Already Getting Laid

by Frost on March 9, 2011

Learning Game beyond a basic level is useless for men who aren’t already doing well with women. If you aren’t getting laid in our sex-soaked culture, chances are it’s because you’re making a few simple, stupid mistakes. Until you address those mistakes, all the time you spend immersed in jargon-heavy PUA literature will be a waste of time.

What do I mean by simple mistakes?

Well, being ugly is a common one. Not every man has the genes to be on a magazine cover, but if you’re in good shape, well-dressed and well-groomed, you’ll likely be in the top quartile of American men in terms of physical appearance simply because the competition is so dismal. Fat people may be gross, but they make it easier for the rest of us the look hawt in comparison.

Social awkwardness is another one-way ticket to celibacy. If you’re the type to make stupid jokes and then laugh nervously at yourself while the room goes silent, you need to fix that. Work on your conscious social skills by reading about social dynamics, and practice in contrived situations like toastmasters and amateur improve. You can also work on your unconscious competence by leaving the house and putting yourself in social situations whenever possible. This will be stressful if you’re an introvert, but start thinking of people as just another system to master and unleash your Aspergers-enhanced pattern recognition skills on them.

Then there are the mistakes that you can avoid by learning the core principles of game, and getting a basic understanding of female psychology. If you’re acting like a pussy around women, stop it. Boom, I just saved you a thousand dollars in bootcamps and shitty e-books.

Finally there’s the most common mistake of all made by young men trying to get laid in the 21st century: Living a purposeless life.

What’s your dream? What are your goals? If your first answer is to get laid, you will reek of desperation. Your inability to talk about your life with passion will bore the people around you, women included. Even if you just want to paint/write/play guitar/write open-source software and fuck, if you do that consciously – if you OWN it – that’s more than good enough. It’s certainly better than living the obedient life of the mortgage-paying corporate serf, even though society may call the latter more “goal-oriented.”

So let’s say you’ve avoided those simple mistakes. You’ve gotten to a point where you’re:

– Good-looking
– Socially Savvy
– Approaching girls and not acting submissive around them
– Passionately pursuing one or more worthy goals

Congratulations, you’re in the top 10% of American young men in terms of sexual value. Maybe even top 5%. People love to complain about how stratified the sexual marketplace is, but it’s often overlooked that the upper echelon is well within the reach of most men.

But once you get your shit together and start getting laid with some regularity, your life becomes a lot more complicated. You find yourself wanting to increase the consistency of your one-night stand game; you’re juggling multiple relationships; turning over rocks looking for those rare top-quality girls; trying to figure out how to incorporate children and a family into a hypergamous world. Suddenly, you need to probe deeper into the theory and practical details of sex and relationships. In other words, you need Game.

Until you reach the point that point however, time and effort memorizing routines and rehearsing body language will be better spent making yourself into a better person. Get in shape. Get your career sorted out. Start a blog.  Make self-improvement, not women, your priority in life. You’ll get more girls in the long run, and more importantly, you’ll enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Zen Buddhist March 27, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Question: is it really that hard to get laid in this post-sexual revolutionary and promiscuous society?

Women are easier now than they’ve ever been.

Albert March 12, 2011 at 5:15 am

Great post here. I think looking great is also an outcome of feeling great ie being healthy. The sad truth is that a good amount of the population in the west are in a state of really bad health, its really sad once you start to take notice of it.

Frost March 14, 2011 at 11:54 am

True! But it’s a huge opportunity for the few of us who are smart enough to eat and exercise intelligently.

Anonymous March 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Regarding social competence, I think it is important to realize that social interactions are mostly governed by instinctual, unconscious processes. A shut-in need to realize that if he makes a point to expose himself to social situations, these “social muscles” are eventually going to de-atrophize and he will be able to deal with them normally, without much of a conscious effort . Provided he is not broken beyond repair of course

Frost March 14, 2011 at 11:53 am

Definitely agree. This is what I meant when I referred to unconscious competence in the post. Reading about social skills is helpful, but at the end of the day you need to spend time talking to people in new situations.

raliv March 9, 2011 at 12:33 pm

That is the real stumbling block for young men out there. Living an a purposeful and interesting life or having the talent to speak of your life as it is purposeful and interesting is increasingly difficult in the post modern age.

I will be the first to say that college is not going to make your life more interesting. You will be stuck in the same town for 4 or more years, drink massive amounts of booze at football games, chase tail, and bullshit your way through classes. Honestly, I can say that my life has become much less interesting than it used to be after settling down in college.

The best players I know are interesting. They have traveled, done and seen extraordinary things which make them larger than life.

Frost March 14, 2011 at 11:52 am

College is awesome! Booze, chase tail, bullshit your way through classes.

If you want intellectual fulfillment, burn a hole through your library card and start a blog. I basically stopped going to classes halfway through my first semester, which is how I managed to work full time, play rugby, read a few books per week, and party like a rockstar 4 nights/week.

All your free time right now is a blessing, not a curse. Make the best of it.

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