Living At Home Is Way Cool

by Frost on February 28, 2011

This is a guest post I originally submitted to The Lost Art of Self-Preservation. Please read and comment on it there.

If you’re young and live in the same city as your parents, you should seriously consider moving back in with them.

I’m almost twenty-six years old. I live with my Dad and it’s great. I have zero plans to move out any time soon. My choice isn’t one that everyone can make, but if moving back in with Mom and/or Dad is an option, you’re a fool if you dismiss the idea out of hand.

Consider the huge advantages of living at home. Between rent, bills and food, you’ll save $2-3000 a month compared to living a comfortable yuppie lifestyle, and ~$1000 a month compared to living a starving student lifestyle. Also, your parents probably have a car, so there’s another $500-1000/month in lease, repairs, insurance (being a secondary driver is much cheaper) and other car-related costs.

If you have a low-paying job, your only alternative to staying at home is to live like a bum and have zero savings. If you have a good job, living at home means an extra $30,000 in your bank account at the end of each year.

Then there are the non-financial benefits. These will be different for everyone, but for me:

– My father cooks all the time (and most of it is Paleo-friendly). Our fridge is always filled with leftover pot roasts, chilis, and hunks of meat. This saves me 3-5 hours of food prep time every week.

– I get to hang out with a crazy, fun, energetic dog while only having to take him out for a run whenever I feel like it.

– Living in an apartment would be a pain in the ass with my skis, bike, and sweaty hockey equipment

So what about the drawbacks?

Well, I live in the suburbs. This is great when I want to walk through my backyard and go for a run through a forest, but I would like to live somewhere more central. Sometimes I’d rather have the privacy of living solo (although in a big house with just my father and I, it’s not much of an issue.) Lastly, I may be nice to have around at times, but I also realize that I am imposing on my father to some extent.

These are all valid objections, but it’s clear that the pros far outweigh the cons. Of course, I’ve left out one big one.

*

What the hell do I do when I want to bring a girl home?

Simply, I don’t.

I only date women who have their own apartments. Or, awkwardly, girls who live at home but with stupid and/or sexually liberal parents.

Doesn’t that make me a selfish parasite? Sure. But haven’t you heard? Selfishness is in. Parasitism is the new pink. Rule #1 of living at home: Always keep a stable of regulars with comfortable, centrally-located apartments.

So what do I do when I meet a pretty girl and she lives with her parents or judgemental roommates? I convince her to invite me over anyway. Occasionally, I’ll invite her over to my place, since my father doesn’t even really care – I just consider it a bit rude, and unnecessary. When two people want to bang, logistics have a way of taking care of themselves.

But aren’t girls turned off by my living situation? Nope. At least, rarely. Lots of girls (and guys) like to tease me about it. But few girls actually lose attraction, and once I explain my reasons, the fact that I’m doing something smart and unconventional is hot. Party girls who just want to fuck don’t give a shit about your apartment, and they’ll like that you don’t give a shit either. You’re appealing to their lust for an unemployed but interesting bum (even if you have a job). Good girls will admire you for bucking the conventional wisdom, saving money for your (Cue hamster wheel: “OUR!!!??!”) future, and staying close to your family.

And staying close to your family is, believe it or not, a good thing over and above the fact that it moistens panties. My father is one of my best friends, and it’s nice to see him on the 3-4 days per week that I sleep at home. I’ve taught him a thing or two about yoga, weight training, paleo eating and, believe it or not, Game, and the old man still has a few lessons to teach me as well.

One of the worst evils of our postmodern age is the gradual breakdown of family and friendship, the destruction of the social bonds that hold us together. The cultural stigma against adults living with their parents is just one small front in a culture war that seeks to tear us apart at the seams. Reaping the benefits of living with your parents – and paying them back when their age advances, their health declines, and you are their only alternative to a cold, gray nursing home – is a small act of rebellion against those who wish to rob that from us.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Sunny October 22, 2012 at 7:34 am

This makes me want terribly to move back in with my parents. I lived with them for sixteen years before moving out. A wonderful life that I didn’t appreciate. A goat farm with a huge garden. Fresh fruits and vegetables right from mother earth, and a chicken at the block nearly every other day. Fresh goat milk is a plus, too.

Now I’m in an apartment making 8.30 an hour and struggling to eat a healthy diet while only managing to call my parents (Really my great grandparents who adopted me. Getting close to eighty.) a couple of times per week. I don’t know how much time I have left with them. I’m spending what little I have away.
I think the farmer man lifestyle might be in, too. Take over the farm? Why the hell not? Apprenticeship programs can wait a bit longer.

Rain October 7, 2011 at 12:39 pm

I want to send you an award for most helpful inetenrt writer.

Kestral March 31, 2011 at 11:04 am

It’s not just Indian culture that lived in multi-generational households.
Asian cultures do this.
Latin cultures do this.
European cultures do this.

The whole concept of nuclear family was invented less than 3 generations ago.

Ask any couples with kids and they’ll all tell you that they wish they lived in a house with the parents and grandparents around to take care of the kids. Child support in this day and age costs almost as much as some mortgages these days.

Multi-generational households is the norm in everywhere in the world except for recent modern Western Society and has been so since the beginning of time. It’s nuclear family that is the anomaly.

Meme March 5, 2011 at 10:19 pm

In Indian culture everyone lives with their family. Adult sons live with their parents their entire lives and adult daughters live with them until they marry, at which point they will then go live with their in-laws, because the son does not move out when he gets married but rather brings the bride home.

So if a couple has 2 sons and 2 daughters, the 2 sons will bring their wives home to live in the paternal family house and raise their kids there. You have a house full of paternal grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, kids and cousins.

This is the system throughout the entire South Asia.

The “nuclear family” is actually considered a break-down of the real family and a social evil imported from the cultureless West.

Of course, you can imagine that many daughter-in-laws don’t feel that way.

Jack March 4, 2011 at 2:07 pm

“One of the worst evils of our postmodern age is the gradual breakdown of family and friendship, the destruction of the social bonds that hold us together. The cultural stigma against adults living with their parents is just one small front in a culture war that seeks to tear us apart at the seams.”

Correct. Please let this sink in. Historically, it was the norm that several generations lived under one roof and helped each other out. In fact, it was usually the grandparents who raised the children while the parents were off at work. Grannies and dads have a lot of wisdom and life experience to pass on.

In the past, most people led very simple lifes, lived with their families and did mostly manual work. You don’t need video games, throwaway fashion, the culture industry, MBA courses, credit card debt, corvettes and mcdonalds to live a healthy, happy life.

Imaging raising your kids on a diet of outdoor activities, wise books, martial arts and other real life activities from early on. We shouldn’t live like people 100 years ago did but we do should combine the best from the past with the best from the present.

kc March 2, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Hi, I don’t know your real name. I’ll just call you Frost. I am writing from India. Your argument makes a lot of sense. I stayed apart from my family for 15 years from the age of 18 due to educational and professional reasons. But now at the age of 33 I got a job in my hometown and have moved back.
The reasons —
1)I save a lot of money. My savings are up. The pay is also better.
2)Marriage — Going the arranged marriage route. It was difficult getting a girl without you own home. Living apart would have meant a large mortgage.
3)Comfort — No need to cook, clean by myself. Lived by myself, know all these.
4)Dad’s an ol’ man and he needs his boys. Its funny, but at the end, he has both his boys with him. It feels great for both of us. He gets to see both his children (2 sons) everyday and lets face it — before he embarks on his journey, everyone is with him.
To conclude — There is no point being a masochist. The benefits of moving back far outweighed that of staying apart.
Your blog’s great. May the force be with you. GRRRRRRR!

Proph March 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm

I moved 1,500 miles away from home for work, believing I had to because that was how one became a man.

To hell with that. If there were jobs to be had back home, I’d gladly move back till the day he (or I) died.

Mike March 1, 2011 at 8:58 pm

My dad is getting older, and I’d gladly room with him if he didn’t live in BFE. You’re lucky. Sooner than you’ll want, your dad will be dead. You’ll always remember these years.

I could never live with my mom. She drove me nuts with her nagging. Nice lady, and I love her, but no way would I live with her.

As for the bitches…Pussy is easy and bountiful. Time with your loved ones will always be too scarce.

(R)Evolutionary February 28, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Excellent article overall. I’ve been there, done that with the suburban-living parentals> have found all that you have said is true.

Specifically, to address the crux of the issue, I have only met a few girls whom are so strongly hypergamous that they give a shit. In this case, it’s weeding out those women as bitches & gold-diggers. The process has weeded out 2 that I know of. Meanwhile, my troup of regulars expands.

Roosh has made a career of using the parental basement as base camp for worldwide travels and hijinks. Not a bad strategy, much better than the high-overhead or homeless alternatives.

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