Why I’m not a PUA

by Frost on January 27, 2011

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

bob dole August 10, 2012 at 3:58 am

whoa… am I the only one that sees exactly what happened there??

btw… that wasn’t PUA approved just fyi… its in none of the books to act that way.

Did you want him to be a friend of yours or not I wonder? especially since you know about “game” and what he was (trying to be or ) doing.

He came off WAY too uncalibrated. I mean the girl over reacted (like a MAJORITY of women do many times for any number of benign reasons in reality .. fuck, they jump up and down when they see someone they know OR if someone EVEN looks at them the wrong way they freak out.. lmao ) and PLUS he most likely unintentionally said it like a PSYCHO. I mean he was trying to be sexual and funny … and the vibe wasn’t there.

Yes, He was breaking another rule too. He shouldn’t push material/hookups in a social circle generally speaking, especially one that’s not his own that you would like to become a part of. You fuck up and your done. That’s why he should KEEP going out. I mean SERIOUSLY think about it. You want him to be a social misfit his whole life. He needs to discover who he is as a person and a man. Thats the only way. What is he going to fuck up MORE social circles while learning?? haha.

The person you describe in the beginning that you KNEW was a boring nerd (jocks can be nerds too – high school football doesn’t make you a hero , sorry to say) . He wasn’t happy as that person! who would be! (…? ) I mean WOULD you want to be a jock loser. I’ve known jocks before as well NOT all of them have social skills. Some ARE really great… It doesn’t define you though or make you great alone. Its who YOU ARE as a person.

You have a BIG group of cool friends … and what does he have. A picture of your friends??… hmmm :)

You should encourage him and help him if you give a crap about him ( you called him an old “friend” ). Obviously you don’t that much.. or maybe you do.. and i’m jumping the gun a bit. Never the less, you should at the least as a fellow human being. .. Perhaps your just jaded by your own misconceptions of the PUAs that you see on TV and such.

If he keeps going out and finds good friends to do it with he’ll get better. Its a matter of practice and learning who you are.

Quietus November 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Regardless, what ‘game’ refers to- either innate talent to getting women, or skills and wisdom picked up with experience- used to be something personal, talked about between friends. It wasn’t this monstrosity of an industry and corresponding manosphere.

don November 15, 2011 at 9:15 am

“game” is something pretty much only black guys would say back in the 90’s: Yo yo, I got game foo’.

Quietus November 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

I disagree with the premise. Not that PUA are creepy, but that you have to study “Game” to do it. To me, “Game” is just as contrived, commodified, and fake as PUA techniques are. It used to be guys would swap stories about girls and joke with each other, saying that someone’s ‘got game’ or not. Now Game is just a brand, a pathetic niche within self-help where opportunist authors psychoanalyze caricatures of women. Is there truth to it? Sure. Does it work? Undoubtedly. But men never needed Game to get laid.

Self-help is an honorable genre, but I have no respect for “Game.” To get with women, either to conquer or to have a meaningful mutual relationship, it requires manliness. It requires trying and failing. Certainly, literature and instruction booklets can help guys figure themselves out and act better as people. But to try to find psychological tricks to get women to like you just seems pathetic. What used to be a part of the hu-MAN experience is now reduced to an online fandom that you buy and pay to attend workshops on. That’s why I have such distaste for “the Game.”

Strike out and lose, lose again and again until you can win. Seek support from your real-life friends, not angry losers from the internet. Figure out women by yourself, not from cheatsheets written by one-name douches. Frankly, I don’t see “Game” as much better than PUA.

sirmarjalot October 17, 2011 at 7:57 am

I like the way these PUA self proclaim themselves as ‘alpha males’
alls i see is a deep insecurity about themselves and the constant need to alleviate this delusion with a trophy girl on their arm. They do this like a dumb computer program pruning the search space until they get a hit and call it ‘game’

Mark July 27, 2011 at 11:16 am

Totally sympathise with your post.

Here is what happened 3 months ago, the post just reminded me of the incident:
I am out at a jazz/funk club in the UK with a larger group of friends, I think we were like 4 guys and 6 ladies. We all have a good time, not many people on the (small) dancefloor so we all go at once and start dancing.
Previously I had noticed 2 guys “Mike style” talking/approaching various groups in the bar. So, these two guys come up to two of my lady friends and try to open them. This already did not really work, because they were on the frigging dancefloor to dance and not to chat. Anyways, so I get closer to them to observe. This one guy (after a minute of chat with my friend) touches her shoulder mimicking to get rid of some dirt spot. She is mildly freaked out, turns around and the guy replies “sorry, I saw a hair on your sweater that was as long as my “d*ck” (makes a gesture with his hands seizing length). My friend replied “get the f* off of me you asshole.!!!”.
Both of the guys leave the bar.
jeeezz… baaaad game.

Carmo July 18, 2011 at 5:30 pm

@Frost, just discovered your blog and have to say it’s refreshing to see somebody that actually gets it. Game is a band aid for a greater problem. Fix those problems i.e. learn to be a naturally attractive guy and that’s all the game you really need. Sure the rest of it helps, especially understanding female psychology and motivation but reading this story about Mike made me cringe. I don’t think I could bring myself to ask some canned “opinion opener” without wanting to kick my own ass.

TGP March 11, 2011 at 10:15 am

“because I’m fucking awesome.”

Brother, that is the essence of manhood. Welcome.

Frost February 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm

It’s all about definitions. Joe, obviously you are better off studying game and using it to get what you want. But do you consider yourself a pickup artist, or just a guy who understands women? I’ve spent thousands of hours reading about game, watching videos, talking with friends, picking up girls, going on dates, etc. But anyone who meets me in real life does not get the impression that I am a “pick-up artist” i.e. Mystery in a furry hat and high heels.

Raliv, you sound a lot like me, two years ago. The problem with PUA-style Game is that it’s only practical if you have zero friends who aren’t pickup artists, and live in a big, anonymous city. If you live in a small college town type of community, wearing eyeliner and flamboyantly hitting on 50 girls/night won’t help your cause for long.

And yeah, I’m a big Assanova fan.

raliv February 2, 2011 at 11:26 am

Agreed. I’m young and a senior is college but have experimented with all sorts of different kinds of game. There are all sorts of methods that all come out creepy and weird rather than normal and cool. Especially the night game stuff. I think it was Assanova (probably a legitimately cool guy in real life) who said it is much better to work on your character as a person and learn how to just hold a normal conversation.

You want the best way to meet girls without looking like a line-spouting, peacocking douche bag?

Buy a fucking puppy.

Workshy Joe February 2, 2011 at 6:10 am

Mike sounds pretty clueless. Acting like a weirdo and getting piss drunk has nothing to do with Game.

PUAs like Mystery and Roissy have taught me to understand women. I haven’t applied that knowledge in seedy neighbourhood bars picking up women, but I did get back with my girlfriend and have learned to effortlessly deflect her shit tests and not get hung up on the fact that she is periodically testing me.

That’s priceless.

jules January 27, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Or you could just join the marines.

I tried watching some of these PUA videos but it just smacked of D&D style fetishism, and I was trying to get away from that. To study it, as an art i don’t know, i’d rather read a real book. But I get the gist, don’t get bogged down in the lingo.

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